"As you know, we count as blessed those who have persevered. You have heard of Job’s perseverance and have seen what the Lord finally brought about. The Lord is full of compassion and mercy."- James 5:11
This verse strikes me mainly because every time I have read the book of Job, I've never really understood why he is looked at as faithful, or as someone who persevered. I have mainly seen a whiny man who complained a lot, and in my eyes didn't trust God. He just wanted to die and avoid what was happening.
Annnnnd... I have always sided with the friends; never fully understanding why they are rebuked!
However, after reading through stories of different men in the Old Testament again, and seeing all of their imperfections and shortcomings, I'm starting to see that God's view of faithfulness is very different from my view of faithfulness. I fear that what I think as faithful is way harder and much more unattainable than what God expects.
I have always thought that in order to be faithful you must be able to accept whatever God throws your way with a smile. Without complaining and without having any problem with what he is doing. I have also always believed that if suffering is occurring, there's a reason. I must have done something to deserve it. (Which is why I probably side with Job's friends)
With all that said, I have always felt like there is very few faithful bones in me. And often walk around feeling extremely guilty as I wrestle and cry through difficult times in my life. Through these hard times I talk to myself with words sounding much like the words Job's friends shared with him.
Granted, my sin is to blame for different situations. But other times, I have to believe after these readings, are just times where God is humbling me or growing something in me. Not because of something I did (or did not do) but because he wants me to grow. Not because he's mad at me. Not because I have disappointed him. Just because he loves me and wants to help me grow. Or maybe just see what's in my heart.
After reading about Abraham, Jacob, Joseph and now Job, I see that Gods idea of faithfulness is very different from mine.
Abraham received a great promise from God and according to scripture he believed God. Yet as you dig into Abraham's life you will see he made many mistakes. Throughout the time of waiting for God's promise to come true Abraham doubted and acted in fear. What I see in Abraham through the fear and doubt is that he would voice those fears and doubts to God.
It was a cycle. God would share the promise, and Abraham would talk to Him about how he felt about that promise. He would believe God. There were times where he would get tired of waiting, take matters into his own hands and mess up. But ultimately Abraham came back to God, listened to the promise once again, talked over his fears and doubts, and believed the promise.
And now here we see Job really wrestling through his deepest fears coming true. He wails, complains, wants to die, questions, fears, gets angry. Yet in the end is still called faithful.
I see through the life of these men, these heroes of the faith, that God doesn't expect for us to suck it up and smile through challenging times.
He doesn't want me to just take it all on my shoulders and bear it. He doesn't want me to make myself faithful- He wants me to share the suffering with him. He wants me to really share what I think and what I feel. Most importantly, he wants me to turn to him and be with him through the hard times. To not forsake him. To stick with him. To let him pick me up from the mud, allow him to clean me off and reassure me. He wants to be the one who saves me.
