My Heart on the Line

So its February. The New Year doesn't seem as *new* anymore... but in my heart there are soooo many hopes and dreams! One of my dreams for 2014 includes stepping out in faith and putting my art out there with the intention to raise money for my Special Missions Contribution in June. At that time my wonderful church family and I pledge to give 10 times our weekly contribution. The money collected goes to many churches in other countries (to help them continue to advance the gospel), to our church (in order to hire interns and ministry staff members to serve our congregation), another part of the funds collected go to HOPEworldwide (an organization that is serving and ministering to people all over the world). Its such a privilege to be able to give. 

Lately I have been thinking about the Parable of the Talents found in Matthew 25:14-30. I have been reflecting on the talents that God has graciously given me and how I can use them to serve my master. One of those talents I believe is my creativity, and in this case my "artistic" creativity. As I type this and reflect on this parable, I feel so much like the last servant. In verse 24, when the master comes back and is demanding an account for the talent he entrusted to him, the servant replies: 

24 ‘Master,’ he said, ‘I knew that you are a hard man, harvesting where you have not sown and gathering where you have not scattered seed.25 So I was afraid and went out and hid your gold in the ground. See, here is what belongs to you.’

Up to this point, I have been using my art as a therapeutic and relaxing way to connect to God. I have enjoyed water coloring and scripture doodling throughout my quiet times and also as a way to meditate on scripture. I have heard from others (many times) that I should sell my art... and I have thought about it. A lot. But every time I think about it fear grips my heart. I begin to think, and think, and think, and think... 

       Is my stuff really that good??
                          What if people don't really like it?!?? 
                                              What if they don't buy it?!? 
                                                           What if I can't do it?!? 
                                                                       What if I fall flat on my face? 
                                                                                              Will I have time to do it????

I am afraid. I am afraid of not succeeding. I am afraid of putting myself out there and being rejected and my dream being crushed. I am afraid of getting the dreaded answers to those questions. 

I am so scared, that I'd rather hide this talent he has entrusted with me in the ground.
Upon this realization, the Master's response  to the servants lack of action due to his paralyzing fear, resonates in my heart and mind. 

26 “His master replied, ‘You wicked, lazy servant! So you knew that I harvest where I have not sown and gather where I have not scattered seed? 27 Well then, you should have put my money on deposit with the bankers, so that when I returned I would have received it back with interest.

God was not pleased. (to say the least) I see here that He just expects me to do something... anything, really. He doesn't want me to let my fear rule over me. He wants me to step out in faith and trust him. So... trust him I will. I'm not 100% sure as to how I will do this. But I do know that I will do something. I'm looking into different websites that offer selling platforms... Etsy and storenvy seem like great places. I have also seen some cases where people sell their products through social media websites such as Instagram. 

I am nervous. I am still a bit afraid. But, I am excited! I cannot wait to get started and see God's hand move. Even if all I raise is $1... or half of that, I know in my heart that God will be pleased.  

Please keep me in your prayers!!!

XOXO
- Mariana