Who am I?

A few Sunday's ago I heard one of the most touching lessons over a scripture that most of us may be very familiar with. This lesson spoke dearly to my heart as it addressed something that has been tugging at me for some months now. 

In Matthew 16:13-20 is the famous scripture where Peter declares for the first time that Jesus is the Messiah. Such a powerful scripture!!!!  And as Jason (one of the evangelists from my church) stated, we can often look at this scripture and derive an obvious lesson- Jesus identity is being revealed (which is also pretty awesome!)

He also explained that there is a less obvious identity being revealed- Peter's. In order for Peter to make this amazing declaration about Jesus, he had to see himself in the right perspective. You see, if I could put myself in Peter's feet... walking alongside Jesus, witnessing all the miracles, seeing people being raised from the dead and cured from leprosy... there would be no doubt that He truly was the Messiah... but as Jason put it, the one stumbling block that might keep me from declaring such a wonderful truth is in fact that he- THE MESSIAH- THE PERFECT ONE- would choose ME! Someone sinful, selfish, far from perfect. 

This is something that I have been wrestling with for some time now.  Especially in the last few months. A lot of things have changed and my identity has been compromised with insecurity. 

A little background...

 The latter half of 2013 was a period of transition. Eddie and I transitioned from being a part of the Married's Ministry at church to helping with the Teen Ministry This school year I went from having taught 1st grade for 3 years, to teaching 3rd grade and having to prepare my students for the STAAR test. I have been really busy and a bit stressed both in and out of work as I have been adjusting to the change in my life. Prior to all this, I embarked on a health and fitness lifestyle change. Training for my 1st half marathon and trying to eat healthy in order to grow in my self discipline and losing weight.  I lost 30 pounds and since all this transition began I have been in a weight-loss  plateau.

 So... to say the least, I have been feeling insecure in almost every area of my life.  in my job performance (as I am learning the 3rd grade curriculum), my abilities in shepherding the teens in our region, making new friendships while maintaining old ones, my weight-loss goals, half marathon training, and now, this new dream of starting my own Etsy shop. 

Which is why this lesson has become so special to me. Who I am should not be defined by any of those areas. My identity should come only from what God says about me. He should be the only one that I should listen to. He created me and therefore is the only one that knows my value. This lesson opened my eyes to another truth. Satan also knows my value. He knows that if I truly believe and embrace my TRUE identity, I would live a powerful godly and holy life. Knowing this, he tries to distract me and confuse me... making me forget the truth. He doesn't want me or you to really understand and embrace our true identity   

So, who am I? A good place to start is here: 

But you are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, God’s special possession, that you may declare the praises of him who called you out of darkness into his wonderful light. Once you were not a people, but now you are the people of God; once you had not received mercy, but now you have received mercy.

1 Peter 2:9-10

I want to hang on to this scripture, as it reveals my identity. This is who God says that I am. When God looks at me, this is what he sees. I am chosen. I am his princess. I am holy. I am His special possession. I am precious to him. He loves me. He sees me as His and lavishes me with mercy upon mercy. 

I am not defined by my career, or even my role in the church. I'm not defined by my economical status, the number on the scale. It doesn't matter if I run 10 marathons or if I am a successful Etsy shop owner. What defines me is my relationship with God. Who he says that I am and how I live my life in response to that. 

I desire to grow in my knowledge of His love for me. I want it to be the thing that drives me, motivates me, propels me. As I type this, Ephesians 3:16-19 comes to mind. As I read these verses, my eyes filled with tears... I so desperately desire to internalize these truths. This is my prayer for you also.

I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being, 17 so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, 18 may have power, together with all the Lord’s holy people, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, 19 and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.

Ephesians 3:16-19

xoxo
Mariana